Finding Peace in a Life Without Our Own Children

Dartoor

An Invitation

You are invited to join me, Saskia Fraser from The Feminine School of Wisdom, on The Path to Wholeness – a 6-week guided ceremonial journey. This journey is a place to be in close connection with other women who understand the complexity and suffering involved in navigating childlessness-not-of-your-own-choosing. It is a place to gain loving support, to heal and deepen your connection with yourself and others, build self-confidence and see into a future that has greater meaning and purpose for you. 

Coming to terms with childlessness after years of dreaming, hoping, longing, trying is one of the hardest things when we always believed we would be mothers. The rupture to our identity, relationships, sense of belonging, self-belief and meaning-in-life can leave us experiencing a grief that family and friends have no way of truly comprehending. 

Whether the initial feeling of grief has softened in you but wells up from time to time (often when you least expect it) or you are fully in grief, this ceremonial journey will hold and support you on your way to acceptance, peace and purpose. 

A Safe Space

It is very common for childless women not to feel safe enough to share their rollercoaster of emotions – grief, shame and confusion – with friends and family. From having spoken to many women in our situation, I know that the only ones who truly understand our experience are other women going through this particular grief and recovery journey themselves. There is solidarity and a feeling of being held when we can reach out to each other, whatever the stage or age we find ourselves, when we acknowledge the need to empower and support ourselves further within our experience of childlessness.

The Path to Wholeness is designed to meet you exactly where you are – a small and intimate group journey, gently and expertly held, full of the love and empathy of women who know what it feels like to stand in your shoes. And you will continue with new friends walking beside you on your childless path with honesty, courage and strength ♥️

Why Ceremony?

Ceremonies have been an integral part of human society for many millennia. They are an empowering and sacred way to help us let go, to help us call in what we need and be present with the most important aspects of ourselves and our worlds. Ceremony brings us together and heals us as a deep acknowledgement and honouring of what has been, and what is yet to come. Ceremonies have the power to release us from our fears and set us on a stronger path.

Saskia, Your Guide

Saskia’s Childlessness Story

In late summer 2022 I finally knew that my time of trying to become a mum had come to an end. After 12-years of trying for a baby, a failed marriage, 3-years of unsuccessful double donor IVF, and a fibroid operation, at 48-years-old I was done. I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown and experiencing perimenopause. I was completely and utterly heartbroken from all the dashed hopes and the realisation that this was it – I was going to remain childless forever. The grief, shame, sense of failure and feeling of isolation at becoming a ‘childless woman’ completely floored me.

I decided to take a month off work to come to terms with my new situation. That month turned into two, and then three months. I was completely stunned by how I – a strong, self-confident and independent woman – could be so utterly devastated by a reality that I’d been contemplating ‘in theory’ for so many years. I always told myself that I may never have children, but the reality of it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I am fortunate to be part of a women’s circle (a safe and sacred space where women share their hardest truths and deepest fears, as well as their hopes, dreams and successes). At that deeply sad time, within that circle, I shared my desolation at never having my own birth blessing – where a mum-to-be gets surrounded by and blessed by her friends and family. I had been attending these blessings for my friends for nearly 20 years, dreaming of one day being the one blessed. 

That day, in that circle last year, it was decided that I should have my own special ceremony – which I called my ‘transition ceremony’ – to acknowledge all that I’d been through and all that I was feeling about myself and my future as a childless woman. A few months later, a beautiful ceremony was held for me. I was placed in the centre, encircled by women who love and care for me. I was blessed and sung to and listened to. At the end of the ceremony I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from me. For the first time in months I didn’t feel like crying. I found myself smiling and laughing and feeling the beginnings of hope about a happy future. I was surprised and intrigued by how something so-seemingly simple could completely transform how I felt about myself and the future. I realised that it was the magic of Ceremony, and of being truly heard and seen by women I respect. And it was then that I decided I wanted to provide this experience for other women who were grieving their own childlessness.

About Saskia

Hello – I am Saskia Fraser, founder of The Feminine School of Wisdom, expert coach, artist, author and your guide on The Path to Wholeness.

For the last 15 years I have been coaching women and facilitating groups as they transition through hard times and sustained emotional challenges. I am an expert in supporting women to fulfil their potential whilst gaining resilience and self-belief.

I feel honoured and blessed to be able to offer you this safe and sacred ceremonial journey, and to be here to support you in your childless grief and ongoing healing and recovery. As a childless woman myself, I deeply understand.

What People Say About Working with Saskia

“Where to begin? Already writing Saskia’s name brings an instant smile to my face so I want to start by saying I am so incredibly grateful that the stars aligned and our paths entwined for what turned out to be an exceptional journey as she guided me, well back to me!

The me that had somehow gotten buried trying to navigate life as a woman. But more than that as a tormented young girl who had been knocked out of alignment of her true path, to learn and know her true worth. I could almost cry when I think about that now because that is what Saskia has given back to me! The complete opposite narrative of my life up until now.

Whatever Saskia is offering, sign up! Go with your heart- she will help you heal it ❤️”

Victoria, 54

“Working with Saskia set me off on an incredible journey of self-empowerment. Saskia coached me towards real clarity, inspiring me to take back my power, to spread my wings and shine and to really become the best of myself.”

Deborah, 48

My coaching journey with Saskia was enlightening, self-affirming, nourishing, joyful and life-changing – I cannot recommend Saskia highly enough if you want to embrace the next phase of your life.

Saskia helped me in more ways than I could’ve imagined.  I have become much more confident in who I am, what I have to share and how I can do that in a more nourishing and balanced way.  I have re-structured my life and business to better support me and I can see a clear and exciting route ahead. I have moved forwards more than I ever thought possible and I am so happy that I followed my instincts and gave myself the gift of working with Saskia – she is a very special soul. Thank you Saskia for your sensitive, intuitive, grounded and joyful support – it has been an amazing journey.

Helen, 42

This Ceremonial Journey is right for you if…

  • You would like to work on healing the grief you have over not being able to birth / raise your own children.
  • You are looking for a way to empower yourself on your childless journey.
  • You want to step consciously into this new phase of life, as a woman without children.
  • You are looking for deeper support from others who understand what it is to be childless-not-by-choice.
  • You want to take positive, pro-active steps to discovering what will bring meaning to your life as you move forward.
  • You want to boost your self-confidence and build a new identity that you love, unrelated to being a mother.
  • You want to feel less triggered by / alienated from friends and family.

This Ceremonial Journey isn’t quite right for you at the moment if…

  • You are still fully in grief and unable to see any light at the end of the tunnel yet.
  • You find yourself unable to stop blaming others for your childlessness and suffering.
  • You are living in a permanant state of anger and depression over your childlessness.

(If you are experiencing any of the above and would like support please find therapists, councillors and life coaches who specialise in supporting childless women by clicking here)

The Path to Wholeness – The Journey

The Path to Wholeness is a 6-week journey to finding greater acceptance, hope and peace through shared experience, creativity and ceremony with other women who deeply and personally understand childlessness. 

Before we begin, you will receive a questionnaire to help you connect with your intentions for the coming 6 weeks, and to share any personal triggers, needs and wants so that you can be fully supported during our time together.

At the beginning and end of the journey we will meet in-person, for a whole day, on the weekend. Our first group will be held on Dartmoor in Devon, UK, with future groups in other countries (please book a call with me if you would like to be added to your country’s waiting list). Our first day is a time to come together and get to know each other, sharing our stories in a safe space and preparing for our journey together. You will start to think about intentions for your ceremony and decide on a gently healing ceremonial creative project to do over the coming six weeks.  A delicious, deeply nourishing lunch, snacks and drinks will be provided, as well as an accommodation list for those who need it.

 In the four weeks between our in-person gatherings, we will meet online each week for our women’s circles. During this time we will be deepening our connections with each other whilst looking at our experiences through the healing lens of important topics related to our childlessness. Each week you will take away nurturing homework to help you integrate the week’s healing reflections.

Our second in-person gathering will be when we come together in ceremony. You will have a 60-minute one-to-one online support session with Saskia ahead of our in-person gathering, so that you feel excited and confident about your ceremony. Each woman in the group will have her own sacred ceremony, one which honours who she truly is, the journey she has been on and her intentions for her future life. We will end the day with a closing circle, hugs for those that want them, and probably some tears of relief and gratitude at having found each other ♥️

The Six Nurturing, Healing Weeks

Week 1: You Are Not Alone

In-person Day 

  • Introductions
  • Sharing our stories
  • Setting intentions

Week 2: Our Complex Emotions

Online Women’s Circle – group call

  • What it means to be with our grief
  • Letting go of shame and failure
  • The truth of isolation

Week 3: Strong Foundations

Online Women’s Circle – group call

  • Building self-worth and strength as a childless woman amongst childed family and friends.
  • Validating and empowering your own experience
  • Boundaries, when to say ‘yes’ and when to say ‘no’

Week 4: Outsider to Insider

Online Women’s Circle – group call

  • Opening yourself to the idea of more love and support 
  • Creating and widening your support network
  • Hope-inspiring childless women 

Week 5: Readying Yourself for the Ceremony

Online Women’s Circle – group call

  • Ceremony creation session

Week 6: The Ceremony

  • One-to-one online support session with Saskia

In-person one-day gathering

  • Opening circle and share
  • Ceremonies
  • Lunch
  • Ceremonies
  • Closing circle

Next Steps

If you have questions or think you might like to join us for The Path to Wholeness, please book a free, confidential 30-minute call with me, Saskia. This will give us a chance to get to know each other a little and make sure that The Path to Wholeness is right for you. To arrange this call, please visit my online booking calendar by clicking here, or email me on saskia@saskiafraser.com to arrange a time to speak.  There is absolutely no obligation to join The Path to Wholeness if you feel it isn’t for you after we have spoken.

Much love, and I look forward to knowing you more ♥️ Saskia x

FAQs

Who will be on this journey with me?

The Path to Wholeness is for women who know for sure that they won’t be having children of their own. With you on this journey will be women at varying stages of acceptance and grief, all of whom experience the emotional and social complexities of childlessness. Saskia will get to know each woman a little before inviting them to join the group, to ensure a safe and healing experience for everyone.

How many women will be in my group?

Because of the sensitivity of the work we are doing, there will be no more than 6 women in each group, with Saskia holding the space.

When does The Path to Wholeness begin?

The Path to Wholeness will begin when there are 5 -6 women who are ready to start the journey together in any one country. We will agree on dates for our in-person days and online circles before we start.

Can you tell me more about the in-person days and where they will be happening?

Our first group’s in-person days will take place on a beautiful rewilding farm on Dartmoor, near Tavistock in Devon, UK. The space that we will be working in is warm, private and nurturing, surrounded by nature. Future groups will take part in other locations internationally when there are 5-6 women ready to start in any one location (please book a call with me if you would like to be added to your country’s waiting list)

The in-person days will start at 10am and finish, at the latest, by 6pm. Lunch, snacks and refreshments are included.

For our first group in the UK, the nearest train station is Plymouth and the nearest airports are Exeter, Newquay and Bristol. 

Can I stay nearby for the in-person days?

On booking your place you will be sent an accommodation list for local Aribnbs, B&Bs and hotels. Depending on the time of year, it may also be possible to camp on the land where our gathering will be happening. You are responsible for booking and paying for your own accommodation, should you need it.

Can you tell me more about the online women’s circles?

During weeks 2 – 5 of The Path to Wholeness we will be meeting online for our women’s circles. These gatherings will happen once a week in the evening, on Zoom. You will be provided with easy-to-follow instructions on how to join the calls and you will also be given a mobile phone number to call in case you need technical help to join any of the calls. Our online circles will be up to 3 hours long.

Do I need to be creative to take part?

You do not need to identify as someone creative in order to take part in The Path to Wholeness. If you feel nervous or unsure about the idea of the ceremonial creative project, Saskia will help you find a gentle, healing way to express yourself that feels supportive and nourishing.

Are there any ways to connect with Saskia and the group in between sessions?

During The Path to Wholeness, Saskia will be available on WhatsApp or email in case you have any questions or want to share anything that is coming up for you through the homeworks.

The Path to Wholeness WhatsApp group also offers extra connection and support. After your ceremony, you are able to remain part of this WhatsApp community, staying connected to the women who are on this journey with you. There will be future meetups available, both online and in-person, to deepen your bonds and have loving support from women who know and understand your ongoing experience.

Will I be triggered if I take part in The Path to Wholeness?

As a childless woman, no matter how strong or depressed we are, being emotionally triggered is a reality that we have to deal with on a regular basis. The Path to Wholeness is a professionally held safe space. Within this safe space you are able to gently explore triggers so that you have more control, as well as more tools for supporting yourself when you are back out in the world. 

At any point during the journey you have full permission to cry, be silent, take yourself away from the group, or drop out of our online calls. You will always be welcome to rejoin the session, if and when you are ready. 

Being with the suffering of others can sometimes be too much to bear when we are suffering ourselves, and it can also be one of the most healing experiences – to know we are not alone and to witness others who know exactly how it feels.

Is there extra one-to-one support outside of the group, should I need it?

Saskia offers one-to-one online coaching sessions to anyone needing extra support outside of the group. These sessions are not included in the initial The Path to Wholeness investment, and Saskia’s one-to-one coaching fees are £75 per 30-minute session and £150 per 60-minutes session. 

How much does The Path to Wholeness cost?

The investment for The Path to Wholeness is £1,200.  Payment plans are available, as well as one half-price bursary place in each group – please contact saskia@saskiafraser.com for more information about bursary places, and follow the Next Steps below if The Path to Wholeness is calling you.

Next Steps

If The Path to Wholeness is calling you, please book a free, confidential 30-minute call with me, Saskia, to find out more and for us to get to know each other by visiting my online booking calendar by clicking here, or by emailing me on saskia@saskiafraser.com to arrange a time to speak. There is absolutely no obligation to join once we have spoken.

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